COUNSELLING & PSYCHOTHERAPY IN FINCHLEY, NORTH LONDON

Sometimes in life we face problems that feel just too big to manage alone

The therapeutic counselling relationship

Our first session is a chance for us to get to know each other and for me to hear about you, and what brings you to therapy. This will be an opportunity for you to gain a sense of my way of working and to see how comfortable you feel talking to me. Finding the right therapist is a personal and important choice and you should feel safe and trusting in the therapeutic relationship.


In this initial session we will cover the practicalities around our sessions such as confidentiality, time keeping, my cancellation policy, and how many sessions you would like, this can be a set amount or open ended depending on your needs and this something we will discuss together.

Developing your self-awareness

Counselling can help develop your self-awareness, you may feel like you don’t know who you are anymore or you feel like you’ve lost part of yourself; the person you were when you were young, before you had children, got married or met your partner. Or maybe societal, familial or work pressures and expectations have stopped you from being your true self.

When you wish for change and it never happens, it can be time to look inwards and explore what is holding you back. What keeps everything the same, stuck and unchangeable, what role do we play in this and why do we allow it to happen, self-awareness is about looking inward and understanding who you truly are and what you want from life.


Rebuilding your confidence

When we do not feel good enough, ignored, and not valued within our relationships it can lead to low self-esteem and poor mental health. Counselling can help you work to rebuild your confidence and sense of identity and enable you to make choices about the relationships you choose to form with others.


When adult or childhood trauma has resulted in emotional neglect or abuse, and is left unprocessed this can present, consciously or subconsciously, in both our physical and mental health.

We can push these memories and feelings down not to be revisited; too painful, too shameful, too sad.


This can present in various ways, it can be a drive to overachieve, perfectionism, people pleasing and meeting the needs of others over your own, or procrastination and lack of direction and motivation.


It can affect relationships; being overly reliant on partners or avoiding intimacy and inability to form relationships, leaving you feeling misunderstood, lonely, and isolated.

We can resort to coping mechanisms to distract ourselves, self-medicating with alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, gambling, and social media are just some of the ways of avoiding your feelings.

Working with a trauma-informed counsellor we can gently work through your experiences to gain a deeper understanding of yourself, empowering you to bring about change, acceptance, and closure on past experiences.


Navigating loss and bereavement

Loss and bereavement are one of the biggest life events that we cannot avoid but it’s rarely talked about. The death of a loved one is a traumatic and often life changing event that can alter the landscape of your life, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation, shaking the foundations of who you are.

Understanding the grieving process and being given a safe space to talk about how you are feeling is a very important part of processing your loss and making sense of your feelings.

Loss can come in many forms; infertility, infidelity, poor health, the end of a relationship, broken friendships, family breakdowns, redundancy, and life changes can all be supported through the counselling relationship.

It’s sometimes hard to be vulnerable and share your feelings with family and friends, or maybe you do not feel like you have anyone you can turn to, and this is where counselling is a safe space to share the most painful losses in life.


Helping you understand who you are

Neurodivergent disorders, such as ADHD, ADD, ASD, Dyslexia and Dyspraxia can lead to feelings of heightened anxiety and low self-esteem in adulthood. When you feel different and misunderstood, often from childhood, it can result in masking behaviours and adopting coping strategies.

These behaviours and strategies can be exhausting and leave you feeling like you can’t be accepted for who you are.

Understanding your triggers and who you are without the labels can be empowering and a positive step forward to acceptance.

Anxiety and repetitive thought patterns can be debilitating, effecting all aspects of your life. I work with a holistic approach to explore the roots of these thoughts and feelings and how they are impacting you in the here and now.

Historical or current experiences that are left unprocessed can lie under the surface and play out unconsciously in our thought patterns. Unbalancing our emotional responses, how we feel about ourselves, and how we react to those around us. People pleasing and meeting the needs of others over our own, or avoiding intimacy, shutting down, and struggling to communicate with the ones we love the most are just some of the unconscious behaviours that can contribute to low esteem, anxiety, stress responses and negative thought patterns.

Embarking on personal therapy is a transformative journey, however, there is no quick fix or magic wand, it takes commitment and often time.

It can be uncomfortable when you are revisiting past trauma and hurt but when you are supported through this process in a safe environment, with compassion and empathy, by a qualified and professional therapist it’s the first steps towards healing and personal growth.


Get in touch


Feel free to contact me if you have any questions about how counselling and therapy works, or to arrange an initial telephone conversation. This enables us to discuss the reasons you are thinking of coming to counselling, whether it could be helpful for you and if I am the right therapist to help.

You can also call me on 07957 448464 if you would prefer to leave a message or speak to me first. I am happy to discuss any queries or questions you may have.

All enquires are usually answered within 24 hours, and all contact is strictly confidential and uses secure phone and email services.


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