Recent headlines about the Beckham family have brought adult family estrangement into the public eye. Brooklyn Beckham’s recent Instagram Story sparked discussion, memes, and “Team Victoria” versus “Team Brooklyn” debates. Similarly, Prince Harry’s estrangement from his father and brother may seem like celebrity gossip, at its core is something deeply human: two families navigating rupture, loss, and confusion. These stories shed light on an experience many people endure privately.

Adult family estrangement is often overlooked or misunderstood. Families are typically assumed to be supportive and lifelong, yet estrangement reveals that relationships can also be a source of deep distress. In the UK, around one in five families experience adult estrangement, according to Stand Alone, a charity supporting those affected by family cut-offs. Estrangement occurs across all cultures, generations, and backgrounds.

Estrangement is generally defined as a deliberate reduction or complete cut-off in contact between family members. Unlike ordinary conflict, it is sustained over time and often represents a way to cope with ongoing emotional harm, anxiety, or distress after other attempts at repair have failed.

Parent–adult child estrangement rarely results from a single incident. It often emerges from multiple stressors such as emotional neglect, inconsistent parenting, abuse, substance misuse, financial strain, homophobia or identity rejection, and disputes around inheritance or bereavement. Ongoing differences in values, boundaries, or expectations can further intensify tension. For parents, estrangement can feel like a profound loss — not just of the relationship, but of their perceived role and influence in their adult child’s life.  Accumulated stress can overwhelm a family’s coping capacity, making estrangement a gradual, long-term outcome rather than an impulsive decision.

Sibling estrangement often originates in childhood, shaped by parental favouritism, neglect, abuse or emotional unavailability. Early tensions may intensify in adulthood due to caregiving, bereavement, or inheritance disputes. Estrangement between parents and adult children can also lead to secondary sibling estrangement, fracturing family systems further. Research shows sibling conflict reflects the wider family environment, rather than children’s personalities alone, and unresolved tensions can persist across generations.

Family relationships are traditionally viewed as lifelong and involuntary, which is why estrangement can be particularly painful. Loss may extend beyond contact itself, affecting shared history, identity, and sense of belonging. Estrangement can also be protective, reducing emotional intensity and anxiety, yet rejection and exclusion activate the brain in similar ways to physical threat, explaining its profound emotional impact.

Estrangement is often described as an ambiguous loss — there is no clear ending or closure. This can lead to feelings of grief, chronic stress, and anxiety, stigma, affecting both psychological and physical wellbeing. Despite its prevalence, family estrangement is frequently overlooked even though it plays a key role in shaping individual mental health and family dynamics.

Family estrangement can carry deep emotional pain and lasting impact, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Counselling offers a supportive space to reflect, heal, and move forward with greater understanding, self-compassion, and emotional clarity.